Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Really hope that NEVER happens again!

Disclaimer:  This gets a little gross, which I'm sorry about.  However, it's essential for the telling of the story.  :)

Well, I have been sick basically for the past two weeks.  I found a new doctor this week (thanks to my new roommate who works for another company).  I wanted to find someone else after my last two visits to the cigarette smoking dude.  I saw the new doctor on Monday and he saw me for a total of 15 seconds.  I explained my problem (while he was on the phone to who knows who).  He asked a few quick questions and said I should do some blood work to see if there is a bacterial infection and to go home and rest.  Ok, easy enough.  

I had to go back on Tuesday for the blood work, as they are only open in the morning and my new doctor is only available in the afternoons.  So, Tuesday, I go for blood work.  I wasn't certain anyone would speak English, but I had my form (which said what needed to be done), my Czech phrasebook, and a smile.  I went in and the old lady who was working (seriously, she was at least 80) spoke a little English.  First she held a vial to me and shouted "URINE" at me.  She gave me a key and pointed to the bathroom.  I wouldn't have been surprised if I would have been required to just go right there.  I was grateful I didn't!  When I returned, she had me sit and with gestures, we figured out the blood drawing.  It was honestly the best blood draw I've ever had - no bruising (usually its not so easy on me).  So, it wasn't bad!

Today, I went back to my doctor.  He said there was no evidence of a bacterial infection.  He said he couldn't really do much and that I should just rest until I felt better.  I asked if there was anything else I could do, and he smugly replied, "Move to California.  This will be better when it warms up."  I almost told him I had lived in California last year, and really, I rarely was sick there!  But alas, that wasn't really an option at this point!  He then said I should go see the Ear, Nose, and Throat doctor upstairs to see if there was some other problem.  He gave her a quick call, and I was on my way.

Upstairs, I was greeted by the new doctor.  She had me wait a minute and then I went in.  She asked me what was going on and I explained it all.  She then had me hop into her exam chair to have a look.  So before does anything, she take two different metal rods out of a container and then dips them in two different solutions.  I figured she was cleaning them, but wasn't sure exactly what was going on.  Then she looks in my ears and says they look fine.  Then she grabs a tongue depressor and looks at my throat.  This makes me gag no matter what.  She seemed disgusted (by the way, bedside manner is not a popular concept here) that I couldn't handle it.  So, she grabbed one of these long metal tube things from her big machine near me.  As I saw them more closely, they looked like metal chopsticks!  

Ok, so they were probably smaller than this, but they felt way bigger!!!
Then, she made me stick out my tongue and shoved this metal thing down my throat, that I learned was for her to look through down my throat.  This absolutely made me gag and she just kept yelling "BREATHE!  BREATHE!"  Oh, thanks for the comfort!  After a few seconds (which felt like days) of that, she stopped.  At this point, my eyes are streaming tears though I'm not crying. Must have been a reaction to gagging.  Fun.

Then, she takes the other probe thing and shoves it in one nostril.  I could see it was going into my head but had no real clue what the hell was going on.  Having never experienced anything like this, I got a little freaked out.  The first nostril wasn't so bad.  Then she did the other side.  As she moved it around (eeeewwwwww!) she hit something and it hurt, so I moved my head.  This was not a good idea apparently, but it was a reaction!  This caused her to yell again "DON'T MOVE...STOP!"  Again, not overly comforting when someone has a metal thing shoved in your nose!  She stopped at that point and said everything looked typical for someone who had a bad cold.  Well, that's good I guess.  

She proceeded to write me a prescription for a strong decongestant and antihistamine, nose drops (yes I have to put drops in my nose, not as bad as the probes but not grand either), and a throat spray.  This is all supposed to help clear things up.  I have been sent home for the rest of the week and will go back to the doctor on Monday to see how things are going.  I'm sincerely hoping there will NOT be a repeat of those damn probe things!


  1. After I chuckled at your description, I heard a voice in my head.... a very emphatic Cooper saying "NOT FUNNY!"

  2. Not to worry...I laughed the entire time I was writing it. :)